Improving your marriage doesnt necessarily have to involve huge changes on your part or your spouses. Many times, the cumulative effect of small changes can make a significant difference in the quality of a relationship.

It can be discouraging to only focus on the big, sweeping long-range changes that you feel are needed, such as improved communication or increased intimacy. Instead, focus on making several small changes that can affect the quality of your relationship right away.

Once you generate some positive energy flow, itll be easier to tackle the larger issues. Plus, youll be more motivated to put forth the effort and to keep trying.

Here are seven easy ways you can improve your marriage:

1. Schedule date nights on a regular basis. Did you know research by Idaho State University shows that one of the secrets to a happy marriage is scheduling regular dates?

This study involving 132 couples found those who went on dates more often (the average was six dates a month) were more likely to be satisfied with their marriage than those who spent less time together.

So get out your calendar and schedule some times for you and your spouse to go out and spend time together doing something you both enjoy.

You might have dinner in a restaurant, go dancing, see a movie or play, or listen to live music. The important thing is youre spending time together and having fun.

If you have children and have been neglecting this part of your relationship for a long time because you dont want to leave the kids with a babysitter, theres probably something else going on underneath the convenient reason.

Doing everything with the children and not spending time alone with your spouse can be a way to try to avoid sex or to minimize romance. Its a mistake to think this wont hurt your marriage in the long runbecause it will.

2. Show respect when youre talking to your spouse. You may not realize youre doing damage to your marriage when your spouse is talking to you and you sigh with exasperation and roll your eyes.

Psychologist John Gottman has conducted research on what attitudes increase the chances that a marriage will end unhappily. He has found contempt is the most damaging, and he says rolling your eyes when your spouse is talking to you is a classic sign that communicates contempt.

The actual words used in interactions between a couple are only part of what is being communicated. The non-verbal component is also communicating loudly. So youre giving your partner important information about how you really feel about him (or her) when you show disrespect.

Start becoming more aware of your behavior when your spouse is talking to you. You might ask your spouse if she (or he) feels disrespected during conversations and interactions with you. But dont ask for honest feedback unless youre prepared to receive it without getting defensive. The goal is to become more self-aware and improve your relationship with your partner.

3. Take the television out of the bedroom. You may be surprised at the research findings involving late-night TV.

A survey by Italian psychologist Serenella Salomoni found that among couples over the age of fifty, those who kept TV out of the bedroom had sex an average of seven times a month compared with 1.5 times a month for couples with TVs. The implication is that late-night TV can translate into a lot less sex for many couples.

Its easy to see how this could happen over time without a couple even stopping to think about the long-term effects on their sex life and intimacy. Watching television becomes a habit and the path of least resistance.

If removing the television from your bedroom sounds too drastic, at least consider initiating a conversation with your spouse about these findings and whether your marriage might benefit from less TV watching in the evenings.

4. Make time for vacations. The Wisconsin Medical Journal reported that when 1500 women were asked how often they took a vacation, 20% said that it had been six years or more. These non-vacationers were more likely to be stressed and unhappy in their marriages.

Every day life can get so bogged down with details, work, and loose ends that fun and romance can easily become buried and neglected. Remember the old saying, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

The same is certainly true of relationshipsif theres no time to play and have fun, then dullness, fatigue, and boredom often take hold. Passion and romance thrive on stimulation, building positive new memories, and the excitement that change brings.

Just leaving home and seeing and doing different things can be energizing and perk up a stale relationship. The vacations dont have to be expensive or exotic. Consider staying at a state park or camping. Explore off-season rates and advertised motel specials. Put on your creative thinking cap and see whats possible.

5. Remember to hug your mate each day. Doctors at the University of North Carolina have found that hugging boosts blood levels of oxytocin, a relaxing hormone that is linked to trust.

According to Kathleen Light, Ph.D., professor of psychiatry at UNC and one of the studys authors, It is safe to say that oxytocin is linked to emotional as well as physical closeness in partners....

Make it a point to initiate more hugging, and dont be bashful about asking for what you need and want. Ask your mate to join you in some bear hugs each day or a session of snuggling on the sofa as you talk. Youll both feel better afterwards!

Note: If hugs = sex in your marriage, its time to make a change. Many wives complain their husbands only touch themhold hands, hug, kiss, snugglewhen the husbands want sex.

These wives often try to avoid physical contact with their husband because they dont want to get him aroused. This leads to a pulling away and a lack of on-going closeness and connection. Thus, its important that hugging not be just a prelude to sex.

6. Celebrate days that are special to the two of you. Take the time to record the special days on your personal calendar so you wont forget.

What days should you celebrate? For starters, include the day you met your spouse, your wedding day, your partners birthday, your birthday, New Years, Valentines Day, and any other dates that have significant meaning or cause for celebration.

Through the years, Ive heard many spouses express hurt that their mate never buys them a gift, even for their birthday. Theres no special dinner or birthday cakenothing.

They might not receive a Valentines Day card or a Christmas present, either. Im always sad to hear this, because it seems like such a loss of an opportunity to celebrate. And the message delivered to the mate is she (or he) isnt valued and treasured.

Life is short, and you cant take your beloved partner for granted. Look for every opportunity to celebrate your love, your marriage, and the fact that youre alive!

7. Smile More Often. A genuine smile can warm the heart and make you more attractive to your spouse.

Thats because smiles are sexy as well as contagious, and the energy they produce can give you and your spouse a needed boost just when you need it the most.

Smiling connects you to others so you arent aloof and separate. A warm smile invites your spouse to come closer, to connect with you, and to linger in your presence. Youll feel better and so will your spouse.