To help our kids who have Autism or Asperger Syndrome thrive in mainstream settings, you have to first pay attention to who they are as unique individuals.

Following are five key questions to help you reflect on what you are doing now and guide you to help these kids and adults have success:

1. Are you sure your child or student knows what it is you want him to do? Be sure the task is achievable and then be sure to understand the particular way he or she learns and acts on information. For example figures of speech are likely to confuse him, while a visual demonstration or picture instructions are more likely to help him understand the task.

2. Do you have a plan or are you trying whatever technique comes to you as issues arise? Those effective techniques you use with your mainstream kids will probably let you down. You must have a program that orients around the needs and interests of your child or student with Autism or Asperger Syndrome. You have to really 'know your customer'. Spending time with a parent, last years teacher or an IEP [Individualized Education Plan] to create a personalized behavior program will be well worth the time.

3. Are you focusing on past behaviors? Forget talking about what you dont want. Instead, teach specific new behaviors that replace inappropriate or unproductive behaviors. Take time to learn the strategies that will move your child forward and help him grow independence. The more you practice new behavior skills, the more the wanted behaviors will grow and squeeze out the unwanted.

4. Are you feeding the potential for frenzy or working toward calm? Be aware of triggers and how you may be unintentionally setting them off all day long. Bright light, an odd smell in the room, discomfort when touched or bumped are the kinds of sensitivities you find with individuals on the autism spectrum. Try to accommodate their preferences and it is likely to pay off in better productivity.

5. Are you relying on punishment? Punishment invites crisis. Consequences invite problem solving. Consequences are the natural teachers. If you isolate your student with Asperger Syndrome for dominating the conversation in a class group, you are punishing, with no lesson to take from it. And your child will be further confused. If you take the child aside, for a few minutes and some in-the-moment instruction about how to succeed at the group table, you are teaching necessary social skills and the way to avoid isolation in the future.