Who are the Whiners? Whiners are the people who always seem to have those hard-luck stories whether it pertains to their relationships, money, or health. Youll notice that even if they resolve one of their frustrating issues, they will immediately have another one to take its place. Are they really having a bad life, or just a bad attitude?

One sure fire way of telling if you are a whiner is to become aware of how many people youve told your sad story to. I once read, If youve told your unhappy story to more than three people, youre just looking for sympathy. That is a good indicator of your habits and motivation, and Id like to propose a simple solution. When you have an issue, choose ONE person in whom you can totally confide, and then spill your guts. This is called venting, and it is very healthy. Make sure your confidant knows that you just need to get all of your feelings out into the open and that you are not seeking advice or sympathy. Having completed your vent, you can now move on to becoming a winner.

What does it take to be a Winner? Change your attitude by finding a way to give your story a happy ending. For example, three weeks ago I had knee surgery, and I am in a brace that extends from my crotch to my ankle. My knee is sore, and I have to walk very tenderly and deliberately to avoid a misstep. When a concerned friend asks how I am doing, I reply, I am doing wonderfully! Im enjoying my rest and relaxation, catching up on my reading, and the post surgery drugs have been absolutely fabulous. This always evokes a chuckle. The facts are still the same, but now I am recycling positive energy with my friends. They admire my positive attitude, especially in the face of adversity. It always feels better to share happy news than sharing sad news. The hormone reaction from feeling good can result in more energy, better health, enhanced mood, and reduced stress. You are really a winner when you can find something good to say in the midst of the bad times. It takes work, but the payoff is immediate and will change your life instantly.

Changing your habits may be difficult, and it will be even more challenging to maintain your good habits in the real world of other complainers. Here is a suggestion for handling the complaints of others. Listen, dont talk! Listen attentively with short interjections such as, Wow! ... Really! ... What are you doing about that? ... What can I do to help? Dont give advice unless they ask for it, and dont be a pawn in their sympathy game. You cant help other people if you are wallowing around in their mud pit with them.

To change what youve been getting, youll have to change what youve been doing. Practicing the art of positivity can magnetically draw more positive experiences to you. It takes 21 days to integrate a new habit, so start right away on a whole new winning outlook for yourself. Whiner or Winner? Its your attitude and its your choice.

Dawn Breeze-George. Reprint rights granted with article and resource box intact.