Relationships permeate every facet of life. The quality of your relationships in various arenas (career, family, intimate relationships, friendships, relationship to self) dictate the quality of your life experience. The focus of this month's newsletter is on understanding and harnessing the power of Relationship Reflections or RR's.

What is a Relationship Reflection?

Each relationship you have acts as a mirror reflecting back to you exactly what you need to pay attention to and work on. The messages our relationships give us constitute the RR. The RR can be positive or negative. Usually, what is reflected is your unconscious/unspoken hopes, feelings, expectations, judgements, and values. When you pay attention to what RR's are saying, you are able to tap into the areas that need the most improvement.

Recently, I worked with a client who felt frustrated with one of her relationships. K was an acquaintance that seemed to bring out the worst in my client. After each interaction with K, my client would become snappy and short-tempered. Through examination and self assessment, my client was able to describe what her relationship with K was reflecting back to her. Because K shamelessly advertised her personal, career, and financial accomplishments, my client concluded that K's behavior was not only inappropriate but also unacceptable. When she looked a little deeper into her feelings, my client realized that interacting with K stirred up her own feelings of disappointment, insecurity, and jealousy. By understanding what her RR was telling her, my client was able to address her own needs and work through her unattended-to feelings. As a result, my client was able to fortify her boundaries, relinquish her expectations, and come to terms with her relationship.

You will notice that certain themes run through not just one but several relationships. Such themes can include: compassion, support, collaboration, insecurity, jealousy, personal expectations or disappointment. By paying attention and working through your RR's, you can learn to respond rather than react, communicate your needs authentically, eliminate the should's and could's, and fully express yourself without fear. Relationship Reflections serve as your personal navigation system leading you to MORE.